My Life In A Nutshell
Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking and the pivotal event that led to the re-evaluation of my life was during valentine’s day where I fervently wished for someone to send me some flowers but never did and had the audacity to gloat in my face how he has thoughtfully prepared flowers for his supposed loved ones, obviously I wasn’t included because according to him “I chose to be in the dessert” and which I bluntly spoofed with my friend Aileen that he eat his words. Some would say but it’s just Valentine’s Day, just a commercialized holiday crap something. Yes, probably but for me it really mattered because honestly I have never experienced being wooed and for quite some time I have been hoping for that day that I would come across someone who would do something sweet and thoughtful even if I was in Antartica or Ethiopa. Anyway, here is my life according to the series of events based on how old I was during that life changing events.
5 years old – when I first gained awareness about everything. I can even remember some stuff at this age how my chin can rest on our dining table and I would run around it and play tag with my older sister.
10 years old – when my menses started. I remember this old wives’ tale, about jumping on the stairs, sitting on a leaf and not to let anyone wash your underwear but you. Come to think of it, I don’t remember the reason why I had to do those things.
15 years old – when I had my first “puppy love” relationship. He was a seminarian and was based in Cebu. It was so cheesy he sent love letters and cards. I was constantly teased by my classmates and friends. But my mom and dad were against it so we never dated.
It was also at this age when I joined a theatre group in school. It was such a fascinating experience for me because I was able to develop my talent as an actress, dancer and singer.
I also had my first bout with depression. There was an incident at my high school where my classmates had to subdue me. I have vague memories of that incident but prior to that I experienced a lot of fainting spells. Really at that time I barely eat and I would rather sleep than eat. According to my mom, they injected something into my system and put sleeping pills in the milk but it had no effect on me. I forgot what I was doing. After that incident I was catatonic and never spoke to anybody I didn’t went to school for two weeks and was brought to a psychiatrist. I had my first taste of valium and some anti-depressant drugs. I forgot what let to that incident and I think what I had before were bi-polar personality syndrome symptoms.
16 years old – High school graduation, I was really hoping for my dad’s attendance. But unfortunately he had to work. And after the ceremony, I was crying so hard and my best friend Ella was consoling me and told me to stop crying but I couldn’t and I don’t know why it affected me so much. It was my first premonition that my life would change very very soon.
17 years old – First year college, I was enrolled in Ateneo De Davao University in the Communication Arts program. Barely two weeks from the start of classes, a devastating event occurred to our family. My dad was found dead in his quarters. His colleague was alarmed when it was almost 6 am my dad wasn’t coming out of his room. He had a pet hen that he would feed kernels of corn in the morning and when the hens were old enough to be slaughtered he would make chicken stew (tinolang manok). He didn’t go through an autopsy but we think he died of pancreatitis, the same thing that might have led to the death of the actor Rico Yan.
20 years old – Someone came into my life that changed me from then on. Her name is Alex. She was my first in everything. She tamed me and made me grow up ASAP. I began to fly away from my comfort zone. From that moment, I became a nomad.
22 years old – Had my first ‘real’ job as a Sales and Training Supervisor. I roamed Visayas and Mindanao because of that job. Then I settled for 11 months in the Surigao area which was a truly awesome experience for me. Think surfing waves and pristine beaches. It was a little bit lonely though.
24 years old – I met Mr. Ty. Level headed and staid he had great sense of humor. We decided to spend our lives together. Unfortunately it would become short lived as we had so many irreconcilable differences. But what broke us apart was his infidelity. I am not bitter about it. Maybe it happened because it had to happen.
25 years old – Another person came into my life. But it was a very challenging experience. She was a fragile thing that barely held on to her dear life. But she had spunk and held on she did. Mischka Gabrielle, that’s her name.
26 years old – The break-up. I never really indulged in self pity because I was also promoted to Field and Sales Operations Manager and relocated in the Batangas area. Mischka Gabrielle was also diagnosed with broncho-pneumonia. We were regular residents in the hospital. She was always there every other month that she became a favorite among the nurses.
29 years old – My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. She is into alternative treatment right now. It pains me to see her, just skin and bones with swollen legs. She aged terribly in just a few months. It’s been a year since her diagnosis. We will beat it. I know we will.
Because of that I decided to work outside the country. We had to act fast and soon enough I had my first experience of a two day leg of flights, one ten hour leg that exhausted me so much that I literally almost dropped out in front of my boss. This was also the time I opened another chapter in my life. I also turned my life around physically, spiritually and psychologically. Harnessed my inner strength and renewed my goals in life.
30 years old – Soon, just two more weeks. What’s it like to be 30????? I am excited and looking forward to it. I will celebrate it alone in my room. I will probably buy a small blueberry cheesecake or black forest mini-cake. But one thing’s for sure, I will not settle for anything less anymore. I deserve the good things in life. I never thought I could sum up my life in two pages but I did. Two more pages perhaps?