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A Love Story - Fiction Part I

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“How are you feeling?”, he asked. “I feel tired”, I replied. “Come I wanna tell you something”, he said. I shrugged and dismissed him with a nod but he insisted and plopped himself beside the mattress. It was a bad day for me as work was so hectic that day. But he slowly massaged my head and somehow I felt better. “I love you”, he whispered. I froze. My body couldn’t move. I was in shock I couldn’t speak. “But I thought you don’t love easily?”, my mind was protesting I felt maybe he wasn’t serious. But I looked into his eyes and I can see the truth in it. I was silent for a while as I immersed into the feeling. I’ve managed to shield myself from anything that will expose my heart to love. I don’t want to fall in love again. I have been strong alone for a long time but he invaded my senses with his scent, with his touch and with his kiss. “Don’t move”, he said. I sat with my legs crossed as he slowly inched his way towards me. He parted my hair with his hands and started

A Love Story - Fiction Part II

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I slammed the door to his face as I hurriedly went in our room to undress. “Please help me understand. What’s the problem? Why are you acting like this?’, he asked with confusion. I didn’t want him to know jealousy was already eating up my insides. I didn’t want him to know I was weak that he has that kind of power over me. “I’m fine. I am just pissed off at work. So how did your photo shoot go?”, I asked. I was hoping the small talk would take our minds off from the real issue. Few months have passed since he started modeling work I try to be the supportive girlfriend. Meeting him in the most unusual circumstance he was an ordinary guy doing roofing tiles. One day as I was parking my car he was sitting near the parking lot smoking taking a break from the scorching heat of the sun. I asked him if it was fine to park in that manner and he said probably. It was his eyes under his cap so blue that I stopped and stared at it for a minute. His unruly hair was all over his face. It w

The Resilience of a Kurd

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Life is made up of moments that become memories. Good memories are remembered fondly. Bad memories tend to become lessons. The up side of bad memories, they are like fire and hammer to steel pounded by a blacksmith. The blacksmith shapes the steel and becomes strong. People are like steel. They become resilient in the face of challenges and adversity. The resilience of the Kurds is like steel. They are determined to build from nothing, to create their own identity and show the world that they are their own people. I came to Erbil in 2009 as an expat working for a construction company. It was my first experience to work abroad and I was plagued with home sickness. Kurdistan has proved to be a place where I would grow to appreciate their people, culture and the history. I am amazed of their resilience as I hear several stories of how they suffered during war. I’ve met a lot of people who would tell me stories that would show their tenacity and positivity. Let me tell

Beyond Definition

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Death was an excuse for me not to open up my heart and mind to reveal the wounds festering inside. It was the wound dealt by hate and disappointment for being failed by so many people for several times. It was just my poetic way of saying that I have writer’s block. But it is not death that I want to talk, but about love. Love in different forms. I keep with me an old paper during my 1st year in Ateneo de Davao University as a Communication Arts freshman student. It was an assignment required by our professor, Ms. Celia Andas. It was a poem analysis on the different kinds of love and I chose to write about Elizabeth Barret Brownings’ poems, Sonnets from the Portuguese which are Sonnet 14, Sonnet 28 and Sonnet 43. I tried to describe love in its many comparisons through Ms. Browning’s poem but at that time it seemed shallow and my answers were too mechanical and detached probably because I have never experienced falling in love in reality. But looking back 13 years after, I see

Answers....

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Do you love me because you need me or do you love me because you want me?

Purging

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I wish I could forget your smell.... I wish I could forget your eyes... I wish I could forget the way you call out my name... I wish I could forget the mornings when you steal a kiss from me.... I wish I could forget when you reach out for my hand and crack my knuckles... I wish I could forget when I stare at you while you drive and you stare back at me with a smirk... I wish I could forget when you put on "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias... I wish I could forget when you drive me around the city and tell me the story behind each street... I wish I could forget when you call me Catalonia... I wish I could forget you.... Let me forget you... My heart is broken and you broke it ..... I cannot forgive you for this.... I wish, it was easy to forget and fall out of love...

Letting Go

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You are a temporary solution. So I am letting you go because you have become an unhealthy habit for me. You are like Superman's Kryptonite. You make me weak and leave me lifeless every time I let you in my life. And like the stupid fool that I am, I continue to believe. But enough is enough.

Heart Wrenching Lament

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And so it goes this way. I am a nut. I do not deny that fact. I was a nut ever since I can remember. I was always different and I always LOVED defying odds. I was considered different since I was five years old because at that time I was already thinking. I can even vividly remember the time I realized I was different. Different in what? People may ask. In how I look at things. I don't profess to be intelligent or talented. But I do know I am capable of doing what I want to pursue if I wanted to. There's a constant need for answers inside me that it seems to be a never ending pit hole. I spread myself too thinly. People have different opinions about me. Some people think I am a manipulative person who always wants to be pitied. So, as how I look at it when you show your weakness to someone in order to cleanse and purge yourself from the negativity that's breeding inside your heart is a sign of manipulation then I was better off without her. I do admit, I fall in l

Walking Away

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I have decided to withdraw myself, from you and from spreading myself too thinly. I have decided to show the world that I can be strong when I am alone. It hurt so much to walk away from someone you need but in the end it’s for the best. It is better to act jaded rather than take advantage of the situation just because the short term end justifies the means. But in the long run the brunt of the hurts it will cause can damage both your heart and soul. So swim before you sink and gasp for air. The air of reality, suck it in and let the oxygen flow into your deprived lungs. I was always meant to be alone.

Quotable Quotes

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Picnik Photos Part 2

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soft effect 1960's effect Ortonish effect 1960's effect Cross - process 1960's Ortonish

My Life In A Nutshell

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Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking and the pivotal event that led to the re-evaluation of my life was during valentine’s day where I fervently wished for someone to send me some flowers but never did and had the audacity to gloat in my face how he has thoughtfully prepared flowers for his supposed loved ones, obviously I wasn’t included because according to him “I chose to be in the dessert” and which I bluntly spoofed with my friend Aileen that he eat his words. Some would say but it’s just Valentine’s Day, just a commercialized holiday crap something. Yes, probably but for me it really mattered because honestly I have never experienced being wooed and for quite some time I have been hoping for that day that I would come across someone who would do something sweet and thoughtful even if I was in Antartica or Ethiopa. Anyway, here is my life according to the series of events based on how old I was during that life changing events. 5 years old – when I first gained awaren